I know it has been two weeks of book hitting, work hitting, planning, swirving guys who are chasing a kid that stole stuff (….I don’t know, but that kid was running and a SUV was chasing him, but that is another story in the making) and taxes, taxes, taxes (Eff’ the Tea Party and “Kiss the rings Biatch(In my Big Al voice.”) If you don't know what I am talking about just skip all the way to 3:14 on this clip.
So I decided to sit back, relax for one minute and get back to the swing. So today I will have my Inaugural Post of
Black Man’s Law.
This is something for the ebony gentleman to know what to and not to do when you get older and ladies to understand where in the F___ we are coming from. I have my dominoes on the table and I can’t play dominoes without three more people. So I have three special guests bloggers in the home of the Ace to sip on some Steve-Weisers and discuss a topic that we as Black men should or should not do.
Mr. Ed-The Ladies Man from Ed the Sports Fan
Professor Reddick from SoulBrother v2.0
And
Sir Ojo from The Desultory Life & Times of a Public Citizen
Mr. Ace – Yall I was driving home in the city and I saw this guy that looks like he can be my dad with this style car.
…..and I was wondering to myself . “At what age should you stop making your car look like this?”
Mr. Ed, The Ladies Man - First of all, that should never be acceptable but I digress.
If you are a car enthusiast, then you should be continually working on your vehicle as long as you see fit. However, no grown man over the age of 25 should still be getting excited about "putting 15's in the trunk" and all. There's nothing wrong with tinted windows or even putting some nice wheels on the ride, however the "Man Law" should be that you can only put in as much work on your vehicle as you are willing to put on your home. If you own said vehicle in the picture and live in Section 8 housing then that is a man law failure. Where are you parking that vehicle? You might get robbed within 24 hours! Get a house, any house, that you can say that you own (preferrably in a garage) so you can park that monstrosity (or nice vehicle) somewhere safe.
Prof. Max - Man, speak for yourself. That YooHoo whip with the chocolate milk vinyl top is tiiiiiight.
All – LMAO
Mr. Ace – (Still laughing) - man just stick to the topic on this one, when should you retire making a whip like this?
Prof. Max - Prolly age 25, or whenever you move out your mamas basement, whichever comes first.
Sir Ojo - Boys will be boys!! You are never too old to have a cartoon painted car with big wheels. Who do you think Mattel made Match Box Cars for? I’ll tell you who - for Boys, who would eventually become Bigger Boys!! Just imagine how impressed your future father-in-law will be when you pull up in a Chevy Caprice turned into a Dune Buggy. I’m sure he will automatically give you his blessing for marriage. And when you pull into your office parking lot on the first day of your new job, imagine the looks of envy you will receive. Your boss will automatically think you are a forward thinker and put you on the fast track to company executive. Big Cars with Big Wheels demand so much respect in our society. Just the other day my Grandmother was asking me why I didn’t have Dump Truck tires on my Oldsmobile. So let the boys put oversized wheels on cars that were obviously not made for them. And let them paint their cars with cartoon characters and bubble gum-ish colors. Why…because boys will be boys.
Mr. Ace – I don’t know. If you would have asked me that a decade ago, I would have said the same thing that Max said at first. Now I guess being older and wiser (and watching NASCAR) made me think. I can roll with the rims and all because women do look at the shoes (verbally) and since my tires is my shoes, flashy is how I roll. I just cannot do those gold Daytons on a silver car (that is a "O' Hell Naw" moment). As far as the paint job, Unless those corporation endorses me and I make money off them, I will just leave that to the Pro driver. Another No-No is what kind of car i decorate. I just puke looking at a 30-year-old in a '84 Chrysler Lebaron thinking you can put something like "Coke is it" on the doors. My father-in-law might love it, but my boss may give me the gas face in an evening gala. I am like Omar from the wire “I like to keep it simple.” Yeah, I would put 25 with a lil lead way, or a flashy home to go with that flashy car.
After all the answers from my guests . We are going to keep the rims for the wheels (Just don't get all gangster with it). I am not going to lie, we as men treat tires like shoes at times….but for the rest
Black Man’s Law Rule 31: Unless you are a car-exterior enthusiats or drive on the racing circuit; when you get to your 25 birthday and do not own a home. You need to save $500 or more to TAKE THAT STUFF OFF and start thinking which is more valuable.
Ladies and Gents: What do you think of Black Man’s Law Rule 31?
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