I will be out for a couple of weeks.

To all my math-heads, If you have taken Calculus II and a foreign teacher being your instructor, you know what I am talking about. I will be back in the hunt after I get these teacher under control.

-SA

Black Man Law No. 74: Black Men and Their Suits

Now whether it is business, a night out at an extravagant event, or just making a way to Sunday service. I like suits. So do women also. Do you know that women love how a suit is made on a man, especially a black man. I get compliments left and right. I even had one woman tell me. "You could have smell like S*&^ and I would still try to rip your clothes off because of that suit." (bear in mind I did not know how to take that one because that one was simply left field..... over the foul line left field. Even though people love suit. It is also the way you wear the suit. Let me break it down.

One Friday Night, I was at an Older Night Club and I saw three guys dressed up like this....

I also saw the same situation the following Saturday evening at a wedding reception and the following Sunday at a church that I go to occassionally. I just want to know. What are the rules of Black Men and Suits?

While thinking about this. I am chillin with three of my guest playing Spades today. They are the following

Everybody's favorite blogger, The Great AverageBro. You can follow him on averagebro.com

Everybody favorite comedic blogger. The Man They Call Leon. You can follow him on listentoleon.net.

...and Everybody favorite preacher. Rev. Uppity Negro. You can follow him at uppitynegronetwork.com.

Gentleman, What are thought about this? What are the rules of Black Men and Suits?

The Man They Call Leon - these are six general rules for Black Men(or

men in general) and Suits. Feel free to use 'em, and let me know when you
publish them with a link back to my site :)

Rule #1:Pinstripes should not be TOO WIDE. If it looks like I can park a

car between the stripes in your suit, your shit is tacky.

Rule #2: Your suit jacket should have no more than three buttons.
Otherwise, you look like you borrowed your outfit from a '97 NFL Draft
Pick.

Rule #3: Your suit should not be shiny. The only time this is marginally
acceptable is if you are onstage in somebody's singing group, or if you
have bitches on the stroll, selling their body for money. If you are not
an actual pimp or greasy R&B singer, leave the shiny suits alone.

Rule #4: Buy a suit that fits, or visit a tailor. Nobody looks cool in a
suit that looks like it belongs to your older brother. Likewise,
nut-huggers and jackets that are too tight to close looks just as
ridiculous, if not more so.

Rule #5: Avoid bright ass colors and gaudy patterns. Your suit should say
"I'm effortlessly stylish" as opposed to "LOOK AT ME! I WANT ATTENTION,
WHICH IS WHY I HAVE ON LIME GREEN WITH ORANGE PLAID LINES ACROSS IT!"

Rule #6: Dry-clean your suit from time to time. All the cologne and
bathing in the world won't help you if your suit smells like someone was
buried in it.

The Great AverageBro - I’m not exactly a fashion conscious dude myself, but I got some basic rules.

· No neon colors.

· Jacket shouldn’t reach your knees.

· More than 4 buttons is a no-no.

· Look at the side-eye from dude in the back with the white shirt on

· Funny as you might find this photo, reality is, this look does it for some women. These guys didn’t wear this sh*t to get props from us, they wore it for the *******! Some lady thinks this is a good look, whether we do or not.

Master Ace - Yeah, I always thought this was good for steppers when you matching with your lady. Other than that, I always thought this was something out the Playa's Ball Offical Gear with the new scent "Pimphand." Smell so good, it slaps your women for you.

Rev. Uppity Negro - The Friday after Father’s Day me and my mother took my dad to a blues club here in our neighborhood and there happened to be another birthday party that was there. And I saw older men, 50+ wearing FULL get ups. One guy had on a full Easter suit, another gentleman had on ALL yellow, and I mean ALL yellow. His baseball cap covered a perm—with a bump. And the husband or perhaps brother of the birthday girl wore a blue jean outfit styled like a 70s style leisure suit, with weird blue striped cuffs and collars. His hat was a tam styled out of denim and brimmed with the same awkward striped print.

These men all broke a myriad of fashion rules as far as I’m concerned. As a young man, I really am curious as to were these fashions ever in style in the first place! Honestly, someone thought it was a good idea to design these costumes, and clearly these men thought it was an even better idea to buy them. Seriously, some of these clown outfits go passed the standard fashion faux pas of owning a suit from the Steve Harvey or Michael Steel suit collection, and we’ve crossed into ghetto prom attire wear. These outfits seem only worthy of on display at HotGhettoMess.com or coming across the fashion tragedy years that were 1986 to approximately 1994 when people went to clubs and stood in front of drab cloth backdrops with a hodge podge of fashion no-nos.

The simplest rule of suit fashion for black men these days should be: if has more than three visible buttons don’t buy it. This immediately cancels out many of the bad suits in their entirety because they pride themselves on being extra and flamboyant and adding random flaps, vents and buttons. And even true contemporary suits are favoring a European cut with two buttons and slim fitting clothes. From there, here are my following rules for men and suits:

1. Don’t buy a suit and shoes of the same color. It’s tacky and it’s doing too much. I do NOT want to see your mustard colored suit with matching gators. All of the same color hurts my eyes and then makes me wonder what other weird colors you may own.

2. Don’t buy a suit just because it’s a different color of what you already own. Feel free to buy a different suit with a different cut and different styling from what you already own.

3. You closet shouldn’t look like a combination of Skittles flavors. Let me put this as plain as possible: gentlemen need a black, brown, gray and navy blue suit, any derivation from those colors, I seriously begin to question why you are buying suits in the first place.

4. Don’t try and buy a suit that your fashion-challenged pastor decided to buy. Look, black folk like to look good when we go to church and it’s a veritable fashion show at certain churches. Don’t try and buy a suit that “outdoes” another suit, you both come off as looking tacky and classless.

5. Don’t but a suit five sizes too big for “Lil’ Man” hoping he’s going to grow into it. I’m sick and damn tired of seeing mothers buy these suits for their sons that are CLEARLY too big for them, expecting that they’ll grow into it, and the son is already 16 years old. Even if he does grown, he’s not going to want that suit anymore.

6. Take the tag off the sleeve. If I see one more grown man running around with the little name brand tag still on the suit I’m going to scream. The tell tale sign of a good designer can be told from the cut of the suit from a distance, not because you can still read the tag of the name brand of the suit.

There’s also the issue of suit accessories that needs to be dealt with. There are certain cuts of collars on shirts and that needs to be addressed when purchasing ties as well. And while I’m on that subject, don’t buy shirts and ties that clash—while you’re trying to be fashion forward, it comes off as tacky. I don’t want you looking like a copy-cat version of Jamal Bryant who decided to wear a crush velvet number and God knows what shirt and tie combo he had on – or like the following:

Master Ace - whoa, what was that, rayon? Did he have on a rayon tie? Well my thing is this. My perspectives on suits are plain and simple. Two buttons and three buttons is very custom style for me. After three, I am thinking you are trying to make me look like Raggedy Andy. I am also a person that likes my suits tailored so my pants don’t look like you can see my wang print. If three buttons, the middle just needs to be button up or if it is two, you could either do the same or left over right like Prince Charles. For colors, I am a basic black or navy type person with maybe white shade-style pinstripes here and there. Those loud colors (red, yellow, money-green, blue, etc.) make you look like a clown or just stand-out like the heavyweight champion of pimps. Ties and shirt have to blend in or that jacket will have you looking like Tyrone Bigums from Chapelle Show. Oh and I am not getting caught looking like Craig Sager unless it is Halloween and I am playing Bishop Don Magic Juan in a HBO Special about his life. The only person that can get away with that for now is Don Cherry, the hockey commentator, and that is because I believe he just nuts anyway.

…..Just to think about, both of them are nuts for wearing those suits. Still, it is made for twitter and blogger punchlines.

So Let make this Black Man Law fellas.

Black Man's Law No. 74: Have a suit that fits you, Blend, do not coordinate (like Pops would say), Make sure your pinstripes are thin, no more than 4 button, and NO LOUD COLORS.

So for the classy ladies, if your man got a Steve Harvey Collection suit that look like he either worn in 1996, has those "Skittles" color going on, and everything is matching his outfit. Do us a favor, Save $100 or more and find him something that will make you want to tear him up. Their is a reason why some entertainers and young athletes wear stuff, because they can get away with it after doing something above the norm.

What are your thoughts on Black Men and the appropriate way to wear a suit?

The C.Y.N.I.C.A.L Side of: Percys

After all this Lebron hoopla and Oscar Grant injustice that swirm me for the past week, today I am going all left field on everybody and talk about a first name that really intrigues me in a funny way. The reason I don’t know why but it always makes me think of laughing or thinking about entertainment. I always said if I can change my name and make a stage name, the first name will always be Percy. Only thing I could think of is that name sounds like an entertainer that do James Brown moves, singing will emphasis, and have ladies throwing their panties. So to whatever no avail…. I bring to you famous Percys

Percy Jackson – In his movie “Percy Jackson & the Olympians,” he is the protagonist. He is good-natured, friendly, brave, and often willing to risk his life to save his friends, strangers, and even his enemies, has a sarcastic sense of humor, and dislike titles being given to him, as he always tells horses, which his father is said to have created, not to call him "boss" or "lord" whenever they talk to him. He also has a strong sense of loyalty and fairness. He is played by Logan Lerman. Honestly, I thought he was a guy that had a singing crew and come on stage doing some James Brown moves with four guys singing background and kills greek gods by after 2am in the morning. I also thought the character of Percy was played by Bradon Jackson, seriously.

Percy Sledge – Come to think about it, he look like Uncle Curtis from “House of Payne.” Well he can sing and women were throwing their panties at him in the 60s, so that goes with the stereotype of a Percy.

Percy Weasley – He kills the stereotype Percy just with his last name alone. Plus he was in the Harry Potter movies. That did it for me.

Percy Watson – This guy is the perfect Percy. The name, the moniker, and everything just have my version of Percy written all over him. The WWE needed to stamp that name because he portray the Percy that I always thought except for the singing part. Plus I think if the WWE wasn’t so PG, ladies would be throwing their panties at him. Besides, dude really reminds me of a partied-up, sugar-jacking, bigger version of Steve Urkel.

Percy from “Talking Dirty After Dark” (Daryl Sivad) – I swear for a guy that had lame jokes and everything in this movies, that made him funny to me plus Deebo ready to pound him in for Deebo thinking he was messing with his woman. This Percy did not have panties thrown at him but he did catch a George Bush by Joe Torrey.

What name do have stereotypes of? Do you know any famous Percys?

....and now a Sacred Straight Moment from Fleece Johnson.

If they showed kids this guy. I know they will think twice about jail.

When Clarence Thomas Trasformed into Malcolm X

I know many brothers and sisters really and I mean really hate Clarence Thomas. After all, in the black community, he is known as everything that you do not want your children to be after succeeding. I put it like this. He is the guy that everybody said never stayed true to his principles and sided with others who thought was he should and should not have as African-Americans’ equal rights. Basically, he was the poster boy for After Civil Rights’ Uncle Tom.

….but today is still hard for me to say this “What Justice Thomas said was literally A GOOD POINT.”

He hardly ever speaks during oral arguments, often appearing asleep on the bench. But in his written opinion Monday supporting the right to bear arms, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas roared to life.

Referring to the disarming of blacks during the post-Reconstruction era, Thomas wrote: "It was the 'duty' of white citizen 'patrols to search negro houses and other suspected places for firearms.' If they found any firearms, the patrols were to take the offending slave or free black 'to the nearest justice of the peace' whereupon he would be 'severely punished.' " Never again, Thomas says.

In a scorcher of an opinion that reads like a mix of black history lesson and Black Panther Party manifesto, he goes on to say, "Militias such as the Ku Klux Klan, the Knights of the White Camellia, the White Brotherhood, the Pale Faces and the '76 Association spread terror among blacks. . . . The use of firearms for self-defense was often the only way black citizens could protect themselves from mob violence."

This was no muttering from an Uncle Tom, as many black people have accused him of being. His advocacy for black self-defense is straight from the heart of Malcolm X. He even cites the slave revolts led by Denmark Vesey and Nat Turner -- implying that white America has long wanted to take guns away from black people out of fear that they would seek revenge for centuries of racial oppression.

I can’t believe this came out of his mouth out of all people. I mean, this looks like it will come from people like Rev. Inc. (for those who don’t know that is Rev. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Shout out to Field Negro for that one.), or some black militant cat who works for the Black Panther Party. No, this came out of C.T. mouth. He has a good point on the 2^nd amendment. Instead of calling him an Uncle Tom, we might need to be hearing the poster boy (well former to me, there are new Toms and Jemamas, such as Jesse Lee Peterson, that Manning dude, and Star Parker; who in my case don’t give a s^%* about their own race.) instead of listening to media and people who are going to take our Second Amendment Rights away from us. Think about it. I know that it is hard in the Chi with all these killings and everything, but just think for a second if they took the right to bear arms from ALL- AFRICAN AMERICANS. For the gangster who got the gun, it will be use to lock him up, but for just a normal-working African Americans who want to protect their, it is more of the fear that other militias (or domestic terrorist such as White Nationalists, who are protected by the NRA) can have us living in fear if we succeed or say something out the way, which is seriously inhumane.

I am glad Justice Thomas stood up on this not speaking as for one person, but for a race.

What do you think about Justice Clarence Thomas speaking up for African American about the Second Amendment?

In Clarence Thomas's gun rights opinion, race plays a major role